My Personal 40-Day Story, and Just a Week and a Half to Go Til 40 Days Leading to Zos Chanukah!!

So I always wonder how much to share in this forum.  Get personal? Be more formal?  But I decided that this story was a good one. You see, here I am always telling everyone to daven, daven, daven and never give up.  But who am I to speak? Everyone is different.  Everyone has their own story with Hashem and their own path and struggles.  But I believe that each one of us has something to take from everyone else’s journey that can help us on our own. I certainly get so much from all of your stories and struggles.  Perhaps you can get a little inspiration from mine..

After a serious life snag, last year I started a hefty personal mussar, self-improvement and davening program.

When Elul came around I decided to do the 40-days.  Funny, because saying it sounds so easy, but let me tell you it is NOT. It is extremely hard and trying. But Baruch Hashem I spent Rosh Chodesh Elul until Yom Kippur davening at the Kotel to marry a ben-Torah, and then some…

During my tefilos, as I went back up from the Kotel one day I saw a very shiny (that’s how I refer to chein) Rabbi performing a chuppah.  I felt the need to ask him for a bracha.  I felt silly, but did it anyway.  “Rav, I’m an almana with 5 kids, please bless me with a shidduch”.  The Rav gave a funny bracha.  He said that I should marry my zivug ‘this year’.  Interesting.  Very specific I thought, ok.

During the year, of the many kever-hopping prayer trips I took, one was to the Ukraine.  As I was in a park doing some self-reflection, I saw another very shiny bearded man with very clear blue eyes. He asked me for tzedaka and I felt the need to also ask him for a bracha for a shidduch.  He said that he was the only Jewish man in his town and came back to Judaism after a near-death experience which he feels left him with the power to give brachos.  He incidentally turned out to be the descendant of several of the most prominent Chassidic Rebbes in history.  His blessing was peculiar – that I should get married ‘this year’.  Interesting. Same bracha. I filed it into the shidduch folders in the back of my mind under ‘maybe’.

So dating.. dating wasn’t fun. As anyone in the shidduch parsha knows, especially in the later shidduch parsha.  Some people say it’s all about hishtadlus. NO. It’s all about Emunah. Davening. Conversation with Hashem.

The year was almost up. Maybe it wasn’t going to happen? I had come so close but yet so far.  I decided to enlist my new bar mitzvah boy with a job he was looking for – being my 40 days at the Kotel shliach with tehillim.  I handed him my realistic by idealistic list of needs in a shidduch.  My tefilos didn’t seem to be enough (chas v’shalom), maybe his tefilos with tehillim would be better received.  I kept upping the ante.  At the end of his 40 days, I met my new chassan.  Mazel tov!!! It was this year.  And all of our combined tefilos were answered.

So who tipped the scales and when? None of my business.  My business is to do as much as I can.  G-d will mind His business and I will mind my business 🙂

The 40 days until Zos Chanukah starts Nov 11, in just a week and a half.

This is your chance to have us daven for you! (If you haven’t yet signed up…)

With love and gratitude from Jerusalem,


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